500 doubles: all because of thin air? don't think so

It is no secret that major league baseball's national spotlight is dominated by the major market teams. The Rockies achievements are often ignored as they are never apart of a national broadcast and organizations like ESPN realize better ratings when stories about the Red Sox, Yankees and Cubs are covered. Which is fine, and understandable. Everybody has to make money, including TV networks. That being said, when the sports journalists, pundits and casual fans do acknowledge the Rockies it's when one of them does something amazing, and then, they pay attention for only long enough to dismiss the feat as a fluke. As result of the ridiculous conditions that exist in Denver and at Coors Field. The general sports watching public seems to think that the physics that govern the entire universe, are somehow absent or diminished in little ol' Denver, CO. What, do we just float around here like we are in space? Do we exist solely on dehydrated foods and relieve our selves with a tube and sealed plastic containers?

Not quite.

And to silence all the elitist baseball snobs about Helton's recent achievement, as Kenny Powers would say, "Listen here you beautiful bitch, I'm about to f*** you up with some knowledge."

Helton's lifetime batting average is .328, he has over 2,000 hits, 321 home runs and this week he hit his 500th double. And, like every other player in the majors he played roughly half of his games on the road. Of the 1,749 games that Helton has played in his career, 867 of those were on the road, as in, not Coors Field, with gravity and everything. This is exactly 49.57%. Of the 500 doubles that Todd Helton has crushed, exactly 232 of those were hit on the road or 46.4%. Compare this to another prolific NL first baseman, Albert Pujols, who has hit a very respectable 364 doubles. Of those, 196 came away from Busch Stadium. Or 45%. Remember Mark Grace? He ended his career with 511 doubles. 511! That's great. And yes, he hit more of them at home too. He hit about 53% of his doubles in the friendly confines of Wrigley and Chase Fields.

Every major league baseball stadium has it's nuances, advantages and disadvantages. Coors Field isn't the only one that is known for being a hitter's park. In 2007, when the Rockies won the NL pennant and lost to the Red Sox in the World Series, Fenway had a Park Factor 1.177, Coors was less at 1.160. Wrigley Field was also higher than Coors Field at 1.172. Were the accomplishments of those teams and players dismissed as a fluke?

For those of us who have watched Helton's illustrious career fighting off pitches, fouling off 4,5,6 in a row only to crank one deep or off the wall, this information is no surprise. This is for all of you out there who ignore the Rockies 99% of the time, and then claim to know enough about them to suggest that it's all because of the thin air.

On a separate note, All Denver has as I'm sure you've noticed been retired. We came out of retirement for one day to address and congratulate the mighty Toddfather. On August 1st, we are re-launching in a new location with our own domain, stay tuned for more details...

mark cuban is such a douche

As the Nuggets are fighting for their first Western Conference final appearance since 1985, Mark Cuban is picking fights with camera men, referees and player's moms. If this were All Dallas, instead of All Denver, I would be so incredibly embarrassed of this clown. Today in his blog, however, he apologized to Kenyon Martin's mother and it's probably because she could kick his ass, not because he's sorry. Although you do have to hand it to him. He could have gone after Linus Kleiza's mom, who probably is just some little old Lithuanian woman carrying around pails of potato sausage porridge.

movie review of the week: skills like this

All Denver gives Skills Like This 5,280 thumbs up, and recomends that you go see it at an independent theater near you. You should see this movie and not just because it takes place and was filmed entirely in Denver. You should see it because the movie stars a young man who views himself as a failure and its about his relationships with his friends, family and girlfriend. That sounds pretty good, I know, but in addition to that it has bank robberies and binge drinking too. Also, nearly every scene is shot so that one of Denver's many landmarks is visible and it makes you feel like you are actually in Denver. When I saw it though, I was actually in Denver, so I guess I can't be sure that it was the movie, but I'm pretty sure if I was somewhere else, I would have felt like I was in Denver. Either way, go see it, if for no other reason than to sound cool and hip when you tell your friends that you went to an art house to check out an indie film.

You can find theaters at www.skillslikethis.com

that one guy who's not an indian, but says he is, wins lawsuit over something

Remember this guy? You know, the creepy guy with the turtlenecks? He was involved in that one thing that happened a few years ago that started a really long drawn out ordeal having to do with committees and universities and politics and talking.

No?

Me either, but the point is that it's over now!

Hey, I don't make the news, I just report (copy) it.

this guy is our new quarterback

Now that Jay Cutler is gone, an open bar stool somewhere awaits the new quarterback of the Denver Broncos. The Broncos have had quite a few quarterbacks since the glory days of Elway. We've had a drunk, a bearded, a horrible and a crybaby. Now, instead of going from QB to QB for these attributes, we get one who has it all. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Kyle Orton: A bearded drunk, who whines and sucks at quarterbacking.

Does that time stamp say 11:00 AM? I can see Jack Daniels and hooker before noon, but a limo? Come on Kyle. Grow up.

But other than that, he looks cool to me!

this guy is ruining the broncos

Finally, we can blame someone for this debacle. The number one a-hole you are looking at here is Dennis Franz errr.... I mean Bus Cook, Jay Cutler's agent and the evil master mind of the recent feud between McDaniels, the Broncos and our star quarterback, Jay Cutler.

Thanks to Sports Illustrated for the picture and a very good article explaining this douche bag's culpability.

denver is drunk?

The Denver Post reported today that Coloradans drink more than every other state in the country except for four other states, which rank us at number five. The National Institute on Alcohol and Whatnot did some sort of study on this, so it's legit. Oh, I might want to add that the article included that some magazines said we were the drunkest state in 2004 and some other stuff about how we booze it up more than anyone.

This is not good.

We need to get our head in the game. I don't know what has happened to us, maybe it's our proclivity to smoke a lot of pot and play frisbee golf. But whatever it is, we can't put up with fifth place. Get out there this weekend and booze it up Colorado. If we're going to get ahead of Alaska we're going to need to step up our game.

Btw, we're also lagging greatly in Meth, Cocaine, Pot, Pills, Queludes (spelling), and a bunch of other good stuff. I'm not saying we tackle it all at once, but keep it in mind.

Here's a link to the article.